


if the cream sits out too long (you must whip it)

by honeysuckleLove



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Group Chat Fic, Multi, Stan is a queeeennenene, also the headcanon that stan is gramatically correct is awesome, bill is cute, eddie is more annoying than richie, georgie appears, idk i like ben and bev together sorry guys, mike is ace, richie is cute, slowly getting weirder and weirder as i update, teen and up for swearinh, the Gay is barely concealed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-01-22 01:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12470328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeysuckleLove/pseuds/honeysuckleLove
Summary: rich girl: i’m making u a cinnamon cake edseddie-bye: don’t call me edsrich girl: you know you love it ;)eddie-bye: just bring the fucking cake over





	1. kahoots, body switching, and a lonely richie

**Author's Note:**

> this is trash 
> 
> if you like it leave kudos and a comment all responses are appreciated!!!!
> 
> Bill: i'm just a bill  
> Bev: marsh-mallow  
> Ben: ben10  
> Stanley: Stan the Man  
> Eddie: eddie-bye  
> Richie: lionel-RICHIE  
> Mike: mike without ike  
> Georgie: Georgie Washington

Thursday 8:24 pm 

marsh-mallow created a group chat titled losers or lovers? it’s the former. 

 

marsh-mallow added i’m just a bill, eddie-bye, lionel-RICHIE, Stan the Man, mike without ike, and ben10 to the chat

 

marsh-mallow: now i can laugh at your gayness online as well as in real life

 

lionel-RICHIE: love u 2

 

i’m just a bill: k 

 

mike without ike: don’t ducking test me with that ducking k 

 

mike without ike: ducking*

 

mike without ike: duck this group chat 

 

ben10: now you’re doing it on purpose lmao

 

eddie-bye: every day we stray a little farther from god’s light

 

Stan the Man: God*

 

eddie-bye: fuck you too stan

 

Stan the Man: Stan*

 

marsh-mallow: this was a mistake  
Friday 12:33 pm

 

eddie-bye: oh MY GOD

 

Stan the Man: Thanks Eddie. 

 

eddie-bye: I’M TOO SHOOK TO BE MAD AT YOU RN STAN

 

eddie-bye: SO in french today

 

eddie-bye: we were going to do a kahoot to review

 

mike without ike: i chose latin to avoid your shit eddie

 

Stan the Man: Ditto. 

 

i’m just a bill: honestly same stan

 

eddie-bye: and richie goes “I AM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR KAHOOT” 

 

lionel-RICHIE: guilty as charged friends

 

marsh-mallow: did you get in trouble?

 

ben10: did you get in trouble?

 

marsh-mallow: JINX

 

ben10: JINX  
lionel-RICHIE: heteros

 

lionel-RICHIE: tbh eds i was only repeating what you said under your breath :-)

 

lionel-richie: and no i didn’t

 

eddie-bye: fuck you

 

i’m just a bill: well that’s a wrap. 

 

i’m just a bill: hey did you guys know that georgie got a phone

 

marsh-mallow: woah!!!!!

 

ben10: how did your parents get him one????

 

eddie-bye: i’m his fave

 

lionel-RICHIE: problematic fave*, eds

 

eddie-bye: how maNY TIMES DO I NEED TO SAY

 

eddie-bye: DON’T CALL ME THAT

 

lionel-RICHIE: it’s how i show my love for you :)

 

lionel-RICHIE: and you didn’t say you weren’t a problematic fave

 

Stan the Man has direct-messaged lionel-RICHIE

 

Stan the Man: You are gay and we all know it. 

 

lionel-RICHIE: fuck you and your grammatical correctness i’m bi

 

losers or lovers? it’s the former.

 

i’m just a bill: anyway, he begged, so they take it away after 8 pm and read everything

 

i’m just a bill: so if he gets added KEEP IT G

 

lionel-RICHIE: RATED G FOR GUIDANCE

 

lionel-RICHIE: i had more than one kit kat today and i’m listening to earth wind and fire, help me

 

marsh-mallow: wow the new twenty one pilots album sounds great

 

ben10: lmao

 

mike without ike: I Am The Only Ace Man In This Chat™

 

eddie-bye: quick everyone say their sexuality

 

eddie-bye: gay

 

marsh-mallow: straight

 

ben10: straight 

marsh-mallow: :)

 

ben10: :)

 

lionel-RICHIE: i’m bi

 

mike without ike: i’m asexual

 

marsh-mallow:...

 

eddie-bye:...

 

lionel-RICHIE: hey where’s bill and stan?

 

marsh-mallow: yes i am their mother where are the childlings

 

Stan the Man: I’m here. 

 

i’m just a bill: here

 

eddie-bye: c10s3t3d

 

Stan the Man: You are trying my patience right now, Eddie. 

 

i’m just a bill: man when eddie gets as annoying as richie shit gets real

 

marsh-mallow: yes richie and eddie seem to have switched bodies

 

eddie-bye: theyre onto us

 

marsh-mallow has direct messaged eddie-bye

 

marsh-mallow: gay af

 

marsh-mallow: or is it gay-f? you know, with the contractions and all

 

marsh-mallow: reply to me

 

marsh-mallow: eddie

 

marsh-mallow: i aM YOUR MOTHER

 

Friday 7:00 pm

 

losers or lovers? it’s the former.

 

lionel-RICHIE: this chat name is too long

 

lionel-RICHIE changed the chat name to richie’s friends

 

lionel-RICHIE: richielicious definition make the eds go loco

 

lionel-RICHIE: richielicious def

 

lionel-RICHIE: richielicious def

 

lionel-RICHIE: richielicious def

lionel-RICHIE: def def def def

 

lionel-RICHIE: where is every one

 

lionel-RICHIE: no one is here but the richie

 

lionel-RICHIE: ben and bev should date

 

lionel-RICHIE: me and eddie should date

 

lionel-RICHIE: i love you eddie

 

mike without ike: oh shitttttt

 

lionel-RICHIE: fuck

 

mike without ike: screenshotted


	2. screenshots, baked goods, and drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the unfinished drama in this chapter

Friday 9pm

lionel-RICHIE has direct messaged marsh-mallow

 

lionel-RICHIE: mom help

 

lionel-RICHIE: i fucked up with the chat

 

lionel-RICHIE: mom????

 

marsh-mallow: i’m here baby

 

lionel-RICHIE: i texted in the chat that me and eddie should date and what should i do???

 

marsh-mallow: wait what

 

marsh-mallow: hold up

 

marsh-mallow: yeah ur fucked

 

lionel-RICHIE: do ya think eddie likes me though?? 

 

lionel-RICHIE: cause i really like him and even though i drive him crazy its all cause i want his attention

 

marsh-mallow: that was actually so awesome you should say your feelings more

 

marsh-mallow: but can i ask

 

marsh-mallow: what made you think that it was a good idea to send that in the group chat with eddie in it 

 

marsh-mallow: but yeah i think eddie likes you 

 

marsh-mallow: he hasn’t confirmed it but possibly

 

marsh-mallow: i’ll try to figure it out

 

lionel-RICHIE: thanks mom

lionel-RICHIE: can i have a snack

 

marsh-mallow: ok 

 

richie’s friends

 

mike without ike: so

 

mike without ike: what’s up 

 

Stan the Man: Nothing much. It seems to be especially quiet tonight. 

 

marsh-mallow has direct messaged lionel-RICHIE

 

marsh-mallow: ok i went to eddie’s house and took his phone to delete the texts, but mike still has a screenshot

 

lionel-RICHIE: thanks mom i love you

 

lionel-RICHIE: but yeah i better not piss off mike 

 

lionel-RICHIE: or anyone else

 

marsh-mallow: k bye gn

 

Saturday 9 am

 

richie’s friends

 

eddie-bye: hey everyone

 

eddie-bye i had no new messages last night are you hanging out without me and bev???

 

lionel-RICHIE: hi eddie!

 

mike without ike: hi

 

marsh-mallow: hello

 

i’m just a bill: salut

 

marsh-mallow: ben isn’t here because he’s pondering the strange appearance of macarons on his porch

 

marsh-mallow: he got fucking macarons out of nowhere 

 

marsh-mallow: and i got ginger bread, and it’s actually amazing???

 

mike without ike: yeah i got marzipan layer cake randomly on my front porch

 

eddie-bye: hold on lemme check my porch

 

Stan the Man: Yeah, my mom found a vanilla cake on our porch too. 

 

i’m just a bill: georgie woke up early and found cream cheese brownies, and he ate like the whole pan

 

eddie-bye: ok my mom’s asleep so i snuck out and got the package and it’s strawberry shortcake, which is my favorite???? 

 

marsh-mallow: children, come to order

 

marsh-mallow: who has not found a baked good yet

 

marsh-mallow: *points at richie*

 

lionel-RICHIE: what????

 

eddie-bye: it’s fucking richie i took a bite and it was delicious and then i tasted paper

 

eddie-bye: and it said hi eds on it 

 

lionel-RICHIE: ok ok it was me

 

lionel-RICHIE: i spent all night baking them 

 

Stan the Man: I’m impressed. My cake was really good. 

 

marsh-mallow: i think richie deserves a round of applause

 

eddie-bye: that was really nice richie

 

eddie-bye: what’s going on

 

lionel-RICHIE: i just wanted to be nice to you guys

 

ben10: thanks for the cookies

 

ben10: who knew that richie was such a good baker

 

marsh-mallow has direct messaged lionel-RICHIE

 

marsh-mallow: what the fresh fuck buddy

 

lionel-RICHIE: i did it to distract the others from the texts

 

marsh-mallow: i think you actually brought more attention to yourself

 

lionel-RICHIE: now eddie’s texting me to hang out

 

lionel-RICHIE: i! want! to! kiss! his! dumb! face!

 

lionel-RICHIE: he says he’s bringing the breakfast club to watch since it’s such a rainy day

 

marsh-mallow: he’s a keeper now keep him

 

lionel-RICHIE: k mommy bye 

 

Saturday 10:05 am 

 

richie’s friends

 

eddie-bye: [hefellasleep.jpg]

 

ben10: aw

 

Stan the Man: It’s the only time he’s not annoying.

 

Stan the Man: Other than when he’s baking. 

 

eddie-bye has direct messaged marsh-mallow

 

eddie-bye: he’s sleeping now but he made me a playlist i’m listening to now and all of them are love songs

 

marsh-mallow: screenshots?

 

eddie-bye: [screenshot235.jpg]

 

marsh-mallow: omg?? fever by carly rae jepsen?? that’s a good one

 

marsh-mallow: and also a very romantic one

 

eddie-bye: i know

 

eddie-bye: and he hasn’t called me eds in a while 

 

eddie-bye: k bye he woke up

 

eddie-bye: i’ll ask him what’s up

 

marsh-mallow: aye aye skipper

 

Saturday 7pm 

 

richie’s friends

 

lionel-RICHIE: god bev i’m so gay

 

lionel-RICHIE: he put his head on my shoulder and i literally melted

 

lionel-RICHIE: and we listened to the playlist i made for him and i swear 

 

lionel-RICHIE: when i put his favorite song on it

 

lionel-RICHIE: which is ironically time after time

 

lionel-RICHIE: he looked at me and he gave me the cutest smile i’ve ever seen

 

lionel-RICHIE: i love his everything

 

lionel-RICHIE: wait this isn’t bev

 

Stan the Man: I believe you have, how do you say it? Fucked up. 

 

i’m just a bill: well that explains the baked goods, trying to distract us

 

mike without ike: screenshotted again

 

lionel-RICHIE has direct messaged marsh-mallow

 

lionel-RICHIE: i fucked up again

 

lionel-RICHIE but he’s sleeping now so i took his phone and deleted the texts again

 

marsh-mallow: that’s not gonna save you forever

 

mike without ike has direct messaged eddie-bye

 

mike without ike: you’re gonna want these

 

mike without ike: [screenshot56,jpg]

 

mike without ike: [screenshot62.jpg]

 

mike without ike: [screenshot63.jpg]

 

richie’s friends

 

Stan the Man: Bill and I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and here is my review. 

 

Stan the Man: While I usually hate Jim Carrey, his portrayal as a broken hearted man is perfect. And dont’t even get me started on the end. 

 

ben10: don’t*

 

i’m just a bill: he’s still crying, that’s why he made the spelling error

 

Stan the Man: Bill, be quiet. 

 

Saturday 8:23pm 

 

i’m just a bill has direct messaged marsh-mallow

 

i’m just a bill: oh man

 

i’m just a bill: bev

 

i’m just a bill: stan was showering and i thought he was done, so i walked in my bathroom

 

i’m just a bill: and i saw him naked

 

i’m just a bill: and he doesn’t know


	3. reddie, fluff, and fucking raspberry chocolate frappucino and fucking paprika chile powder avocado toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a filler chapter for today

Saturday 9pm

 

eddie-bye has direct messaged lionel-RICHIE

 

eddie-bye: we need to talk

 

eddie-bye: is this a joke?

 

lionel-RICHIE: what’s a joke? 

 

eddie-bye: the screenshots that mike sent me

 

lionel-RICHIE: he screenshotted that? 

 

eddie-bye: and i looked at my phone and the texts weren’t there

 

lionel-RICHIE: bev and i deleted them

 

eddie-bye: why would you do that? 

 

eddie-bye: why couldn’t you just let me see them? 

 

eddie-bye: maybe i would have felt the same way

 

eddie-bye: i’m coming over

 

lionel-RICHIE: i’m sorry eddie i keep making mistakes and i feel like all i do is annoy you and you don’t really like me

 

lionel-RICHIE: do you actually like me?

 

eddie-bye: you big dumb-dumb

 

eddie-bye: did you actually want to kiss me

 

lionel-RICHIE: yes

 

eddie-bye: ok

 

Sunday 8:32 am 

 

richie’s friends

 

lionel-RICHIE has changed their name to rich girl

 

rich girl: i’m always a sucker for hall and oates

 

eddie-bye: babe 

 

eddie-bye: that’s bc i showed them to you

 

marsh-mallow: what

 

i’m just a bill: what

 

ben10: everyone in this group chat is weird

 

Stan the Man: I’m normal.

 

mike without ike: but the thing is, you’re not

 

i’m just a bill: that’s a wrap

 

i’m just a bill: eddie

 

i’m just a bill: what does your username mean 

 

eddie-bye: ya know

 

eddie-bye: it’s like beddie-bye 

 

marsh-mallow: i have a very vague idea of what you mean

 

marsh-mallow: please elaborate

 

eddie-bye: whatever

 

rich girl: i get what he means

 

marsh-mallow has direct messaged i’m just a bill

 

marsh-mallow: i think you need to talk to stan about what happened

 

marsh-mallow: it’s never good to keep secrets

 

i’m just a bill: i know, i know

 

marsh-mallow: but i would do it in real life

 

i’m just a bill: ok i’ll go over now

 

Sunday 7:43 pm

 

rich girl has direct messaged eddie-bye:

 

rich girl: hey eds

 

rich girl: or should i say 

 

rich girl: babe

 

rich girl: i’m making u a cinnamon cake eds

 

eddie-bye: don’t call me eds

 

rich girl: you know you love it ;)

 

eddie-bye: just bring the fucking cake over

 

rich girl: or you could come over and help

 

eddie-bye: can’t. my mom!!

 

rich girl: i want a kiss

 

eddie-bye: you’re gonna get your cinnamon germs on me

 

rich girl: ;(

 

eddie-bye: fine

 

rich girl: see you in ten

 

marsh-mallow has direct messaged i’m just a bill

 

marsh-mallow: did you do it?

 

i’m just a bill: …

 

marsh-mallow: sfhadgreakgare

 

i’m just a bill: i’ll do it tomorrow

 

marsh-mallow: you better

 

Monday 5 am 

 

richie’s friends

 

eddie-bye: so what’s new

 

eddie-bye: i’m up because

 

eddie-bye: nvm

 

i’m just a bill: i st fucking god

 

i’m just a bill: fucking asshole teachers

 

i’m just a bill: while i was watching a short horror film for inspiration

 

i’m just a bill: (which wasn’t even good, but i finished out of spite)

 

i’m just a bill: the fucking study hall teacher was walking around looking at people’s laptop screens to detect for shenanigans

 

i’m just a bill: i mean, it’s a fucking study hall can’t we do whatever the fuck we want with our time

 

i’m just a bill: anyway

 

i’m just a bill: im getting bored of this particular short film when she leans down next to me and i swear i could have smelt the fucking raspberry chocolate frappucino and the fucking paprika chile powder avocado toast she had for her fucking lunch

 

i’m just a bill: and she says “you can do this later at home when you have all your homework done”

 

i’m just a bill: number one: why the fuck would i watch it at home. school is when i need to do that shit with all of richie’s stupid fucking antics

 

i’m just a bill: number two: can she just fucking leave kids alone

 

i’m just a bill: so i sheepishly close the tab and work on some schoolwork until the end of the period

 

i’m just a bill: but that teacher has made an enemy of william denbrough

 

i’m just a bill: for forever

 

i’m just a bill: okay i’m done

 

eddie-bye: that was entertaining thank you bill

 

eddie-bye: anyone else have anything to share

 

i’m just a bill: all quiet on the texting front

 

eddie-bye: shut up bill no one gets your literary references

 

i’m just a bill: so

 

i’m just a bill: eddie 

 

i’m just a bill: what are you doing up at this unearthly hour

 

eddie-bye: ..

 

eddie-bye: its time for me to say goodbye

 

Monday 8:07 am 

 

i’m just a bill has direct-messaged marsh-mallow

 

i’m just a bill: well i did it

 

marsh-mallow: how’d it go??

 

i’m just a bill: let’s just say… we kissed.


	4. benverly special

**Monday 9:23 am**

 

**richie's friends**

 

 **ben10:** it's time for me to change my name

 

**ben10 has changed his name to i lik the egg**

 

 **marsh-mallow:** not that god awful meme

 

**i lik the egg has changed marsh-mallow's name to i lik the marsh**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just an opportunity for me to fool around with rich text and give some benverly previews ;) dont fret i will get around to everyone


	5. 80s song montage

Monday 8:08 am

 

i lik the marsh: what

 

i’m just a bill: i told him before latin in an empty classroom that i saw him naked

 

i’m just a bill: and then he was embarrassed

 

i’m just a bill: but then we kissed

 

i’m just a bill: it wasn’t actually a good kiss, more just teeth smashing

 

i’m just a bill: BUT THEN THE BELL RANG BEFORE WE COULD TALK MORE

 

i’m just a bill: so now i’m confused about what’s going to happen next

 

i lik the marsh: good fuking lukc done with your shit

 

richie’s friends

 

rich girl: is there anything better than pussy?

 

i lik the egg: yes, a really good book

 

i lik the marsh: welcome to physics

 

i lik the marsh: HOLY MOTHER

 

mike without ike: hi welcome to chili’s

rich girl: whoever threw that paper their mom’s a hoe

 

eddie-bye: and my personal fave

 

eddie-bye: what the FUCK is up kyle?

 

rich girl: chris is that a weed?

 

rich girl: no this is a crayo-

 

rich girl: IM CALLING THE POLICE

 

rich girl: 911 what is your emergency?

 

eddie-bye: where are bill and stan????????

 

i lik the marsh: um

 

i lik the marsh: homework

 

rich girl: not very convincing huh?

 

rich girl has direct messaged eddie-bye

 

rich girl: hey babe wanna make out at the barrens

 

eddie-bye: i prefer eds to babe tbh

 

rich girl: ScREenSHotTEd!!!!

 

richie’s friends

 

rich girl: [iloveeddie.jpg]

 

mike without ike: WhaT tHE FuCK

 

Stan the Man: I’m not even surprised.

 

i lik the marsh: oh yeah by yello plays

 

i lik the egg: why?

 

i lik the egg: are we going to name 80s songs?

 

i lik the egg: i touch you once, i touch you twice I WON’T LET GO AT ANY PRICE

 

i lik the marsh: du nuh nuh nuh nuh

 

i lik the egg: DOOO DOOO

 

i lik the marsh: du nuh nuh nuh nuh

 

i lik the egg: DOOO DOOO

 

i lik the marsh: CRACK THAT WHIP

 

i lik the egg: GIVE THE PAST A SLIP

 

i’m just a bill: i love how richie can send a picture of him and eddie kissing and we’re so ADD that we don’t give a shit

 

eddie-bye: bye guys

 

i’m just a bill has direct messaged Stan the Man

 

i’m just a bill: umm

 

i’m just a bill: what are we now???

 

Stan the Man: Boyfriends?

 

i’m just a bill: boyfriends.


End file.
